I Am Not There
by xlnthands
Summary: One Shot. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of God, to bring together this man and this woman in holy matrimony.


**I Am Not There**

_Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of God, to bring together this man and this woman in holy matrimony._

The trees swayed in a sudden puff of wind that brought the scent of flowers rushing over the heads of all those present. It brought a smile to many a face. Weddings were happy occasions. A time for smiles and quiet thoughts of satisfaction. Alexandra looked toward Bobby. He stood talking to Logan. His voice rang out in a hearty laugh that split his lips into a genuine smile. He looked heartbreaking in his charcoal grey shadow striped tuxedo. His shirt and tie of a pale frosted lilac that lightened his eyes to the color of caramel. The maid of honor and bridesmaids were like laughing flowers dotted amongst the other guests in their gowns of the same frosted material in pale pink. Children ran around on the grass in the brief freedom given to them before parents would take them in hand and force them to sit still during the ceremony. The pastor took his place at the pulpit standing under the canopied limbs of a chestnut tree. The music began to play and Bobby looked toward Alex and gave her a cheesy thumbs up signal.

*************************************

_"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want;  
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.  
He leadeth me beside the still waters._

The priest was administering the last rites. He wasn't expected to make it through to morning. Last rites, Alex thought bitterly, there were words for every milestone of a man's life, but little else. Sometimes, she thought, when everything else was said and done, the only thing that people ever had were words. Those spoken correctly or incorrectly, those spoken in anger and in love. The most important words were the ones that never were spoken at all. The ones that people were too proud, too scared or too stupid to say at the right time. Alex could hear her crying behind her and she knew the woman needed someone to help her, the poor dear had no one else. The only other sound in the room was the mechanical bleeps and blips of the monitoring machines. Just more words really, incomprehensible words measuring out his last breath, his last heartbeat.

********************************

_We thank you, God, for the days of life that you gave this man. May his memory live long among us and be a source of strength for us. May we find the courage to face the changes which God's plan presents to us as we go on from here. So it is that we gather to commit his body to the ground and his spirit into the keeping of Almighty God. Amen_

The trees swayed in a sudden puff of wind that brought the scent of flowers rushing over the heads of all those present. It brought a tear to many a face. The flowers had been thrown in and Alex turned to bury her face in Bobby's warm chest as the box was lowered into the ground. She looked up into his face and saw the same shell-shocked countenance that she felt stretched across her own features.

"This is only September." He tightened his hold on her shoulders.

"The wedding was just this last June. She looked so beautiful, Bobby, so happy" Alex said feeling the tears sting behind her eyes. She looked over to where Carolyn knelt next to the unnaturally gaping hole where they had just laid her husband to rest. She had become a bride and a widow within the space of less than a year.

"The Captain called last night to say that they caught the guy who shot him."

"A lot of good that does, I know." She buried her face again and let the tears fall on the wool of his dark suit.

One by one, the mourners left the grassy knoll. The Captain stayed by his detective's side, wishing there was something he could say to take away Carolyn's pain. Wishing that none of it had ever happened. He wished that Mike Logan had been more afraid of the inexperienced punk with a gun that tried to hold him up just outside of the station. The video surveillance camera showed that Mike had smiled at the kid and offered him a stick of gum right before the gun went off. Now a good cop was gone and another one was in mourning.

_********************************_

_Do not stand on my grave and weep;  
I am not there. I do not sleep.  
I am a thousand winds that blow.  
I am the diamond's glint on snow.  
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.  
I am the gentle autumn's rain.  
When you awaken in the morning's hush,  
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.  
I am the soft stars that shine at night.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry;  
I am not there. I did not die._

_Mary Elizabeth Frye  
_

A/N: At first this was going to be a full on story but I have always admired the one shot short little gems here at ff and wanted to try my own hand at some of them. I see them as little diamonds set loose in a velvet bag, each one perfect and unique. As always, R & R is majorly appreciated.


End file.
